Hello wonderful readers,
I wanted to share my thoughts and experiences of letting go and moving on, because I believe I have experienced some significant growth in this area over the past few days.
As most of the world knows, the US presidential election process completed this week and someone who was not expected to win, astonishingly won. This threw a lot of people, including myself into a state of disbelief and inner despair. I haven’t had to wake up at 3am in a really long time, but I found myself, up at 2:43 am PST, on Wednesday, November 9th, just blank and terrified and disillusioned about what just happened. I called my Dad who lives in India and he seemed upset too. Neither of us are American, yet we seem to be triggered by it and as I’ve found out since, a lot of people in the world have been, so I know I am not unique here.
What troubled me more though, was when he told me that my brother, who is American, supported and may have voted for him. That threw me into a different kind of tailspin. See, my brother has been a major impact in my life. Both a positive and a much more negative force – I was bullied as a kid and I have felt alienated and fearful of him. So, somehow hearing that he had voted for him, triggered all kinds of stuff… So I had emailed him, after not being in touch with him for a few years, except for the occasional email about our father’s state of affairs. He was deeply offended that I would ask him such a personal question and that I would insinuate that he would do that… and he said some other stuff.
Needless to say I ended up writing a long response to him, stating my boundaries, for the firs time, and it felt great.
This outcome is something I owe to the process of recovery.
So the entire saga disrupted my life for 3 whole days (Wednesday, Thursday and Friday), that I felt quite exhausted and honestly demoralized, and resorted to eating ice cream and muffins for 3 nights in a row.
But last night, I decided that it was enough and I wanted to move forward. I took a brief nap in the early evening and wanted to make some dinner, so I walked to the grocery store about 1 km away and bought some healthy vegetables (kale, carrots, brussel sprouts and okra).
So when I got home, put the groceries on the counter, I finally saw that my kitchen was a mess. There was broken glass, dishes everywhere, plastic bags, paper, etc and that just aggravated me. But I knew I wanted to make this dinner for myself, on a Friday night of a long weekend, quietly, peacefully, sober, and just try to move forward.
As I cleaned up the broken glass, which, by the way, occurred on the night of the election – this glass just shattered as the election results were announced (seriously!!!) – it was like a loud pop that terrified me – I thought someone threw a rock into the window. Anyways, once I cleaned up the glass, did a few dishes, it suddenly occurred to me.
The first step to letting go and moving on, is to take care of ourselves.
Cleaning up the kitchen. Doing the dishes. Taking out the garbage. Getting healthy groceries. Cooking a nice meal. Listening to Jazz from the 20s and 30s, with the lights dim, one step at a time. Take care of the dogs, the cats, the kids, the plants, the grass, the fish and any little or big thing that is precious to us. We appreciate what we have, including the shelter, the food, our bodies, our minds, our earth, the oxygen outside, the rain, the sun, the snow, whatever it is that makes us feel alive again. And in my case, my supremely sacred Sobriety, that I still have.
We slowly embrace what is and gently move forward, one breath, one step, one minute, one hour and one day at a time, and we share this with those that can and we move on.
It gets better. Life starts happening. We move on. We embrace what is to come, with grace that can only be summoned. We accept. We forgive. We grow. We move on.
It’s like moving on from a massive relapse, in a way, without much of the ginormous emotional and physical wreckage that lingers for days, months and years.
Today is Day 4 post-election and I am feeling much better. I am not watching TV or the news. Yes, some getting used to. As Louise Hay would say (paraphrasing) “In the Infinity of Life, All is Well, Perfect, Whole & Complete”. I would also add, inspired by her, that “Everything always works out perfectly for everyone, in the end“.
I am so Grateful that she has existed on this earth and shared her profound wisdom and that I received it when I did.
Thank you all for reading and please share your own experiences with moving on – from whatever it is you may have experienced.
These are experiences that we need to deal with in life, to move on, so it would be great if you have any that you could share with us.